3 things to do when you’ve been hurt.

Dear friends,
This week has been emotional and hard. Capital H hard.  There have been lots of moments of sweetness, but so many tears and questions in between. It hasn’t been anything I could fix, so I have had to walk along side my hurt people and try to speak truth aloud as we follow the doors that God is opening. I know you’ve had these weeks too.  Weeks that were supposed to be easy and uneventful but are then turned upside down by the unexpected.  It is hard to do this kind of week well, as we become a little bruised too, but perfection isn’t the goal, love progress is. So, how do we do this?
Acknowledge the hurt
It is very easy to get wrapped up in the details of the hurtful events, but it’s rarely productive.  The details may keep us swimming in the hurt when we need to get out of the water.  But before we can begin the healing, we need to acknowledge that we have been hurt.  Hurt shifts our focus a bit off of the anger of someone else and back onto our healing.  It also gives words to our feelings which allows us to begin processing the pain and not just the events. If you are working through things with a child as I was, it helps to ask questions about their feelings,  but  it is important to refrain from teaching them about how they should be feeling.
Name it and hand it over
Once we have begun to recognize the hurt, we can name it.  In the Bible, God gave opportunities for naming places at which hard events occurred.  The act of naming gives us dominion over them.  The same is true for hurts.  We named our feelings this week and then the event.  We used words like betrayed, lied to, and confusion to name our feelings and have even given the whole event a name.  Now that it’s named, we can hand it over to God piece by piece.  Nothing shifts my focus more than when I do this technique I learned from a godly friend.  I sit with my hands open and I speak each word and then I lift my hands and say, “God I give you this betrayal”.  Take it slow and prayerful.  If you don’t feel sincere, don’t fake it.  Wait a day or two and pray first for the desire to be sincere.
Focus on truth
Truth is powerful.  Often when we are hurt, we begin to believe our own lies.  Speaking scripture into the hurt crowds out the darkness and lets the healing words of Jesus in.  We want to focus on scripture that speaks of God’s love and care for us. Keep your focus on yourself and avoid the temptation to go looking for the Wrath of God scriptures to make yourself feel better.  At our house we listen to the audio bible online.  It allows me to go about my tasks while being saturated by God’s word. Here is a sample:  Psalm 103 The Message.  Christian music also offers a good alternative if you choose carefully.  For this purpose, I focus on songs that come straight from scripture.  Ellie Holcomb does a good job of this as do others. Here is one of my favorites-  Don’t forget his love. by Ellie Holcomb These songs remind us of the truth of who we are and who God is. [pullquote] As we begin to allow God to shift our perspective of ourselves into it’s rightful place, we are able to forgive and love others because of God’s great forgiveness and love for us.[/pullquote] Scripture is indeed an avenue that God uses to set us free.

Hurts can become present day wounds or they can become old healed scars depending on how we handle them.  God’s love offers us the freedom to experience our feelings, work through them, and to offer forgiveness to others and to ourselves.  It is by our scars that we see a trail of God’s love at work in us and for us.



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